My Chuck Norris Top 10

In no particular order

1. Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting
2. Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
3. Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.
4. Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you're thinking to yourself, "But Chuck Norris isn't black", then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
5. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
6. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
8. Chuck Norris Does not sleep. He waits.
9. Chuck Norris Counted to infinity - Twice.
10. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
11. There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.